Ask anyone if they've heard of the Sargasso Cluster and I bet they'll give you a blank stare, then go back to whatever they were doing before you interrupted them. I wouldn't blame them, quite honestly! If the universe ever needed an enema, the Sargasso Cluster is where the hose would be inserted.
The only reason we know about it is because one of our roving reporters, Emo Scipo, heard about a dispute that started there, just a few months ago, between two of its larger and more populous worlds, Tekahydra and Hadea, which has evolved into a full on, 'I'll see you in hell', 'I'll see that and raise you two perditions' war. He decided to investigate. His report was sent to us through our market leading 'Info-Burst'® News Service, which uses Trans-DimensionalTM Technology!
Almost every world gets itself into some kind of conflict, with others or with itself, at some point, for reasons which resonate, even with outsiders. Whether it's 'Imperialism', or over access to a limited resource, territorial gain, or religious or political ideologies, there's little new under the stars. In the Sargasso Cluster, however, they've dreamed up a brand new reason!
It started when the Victa Cola Corporation, a soft drinks company on Hadea, decided to make use of what, up until the present time, had been a chunk of worthless and unused real estate - the nearby moon of Gothe. For eons, it had orbited Hadea in silent majesty. It was a source of wonderment and awe to the stone age Hadeans, an astrological portent to the those of the 'Middle Ages', and a potential source of minerals to present day mining corporations. It belonged to the Hadean, free and clear, to do with as they wished - or so they thought!
Gothe is almost invisible from Tekahydra. It has never had any significance to them. For most of their history, they were unaware of its existence. Unlike Hadea, technological progress on Tekahydra had paused for a few decades while the people chewed their fingernails and fretted over the damage their rapid advancement was causing to their eco-system. They took a vote, became nature worshippers, and headed back to where they were a century before. Every government from that point on was staffed entirely by environmentalists. Some scientific investigation, such as Astronomy, did continue, however, because it had little real impact on the bio-sphere, and devoting one's life to studying the wonders of the universe was entirely consistent with their 'nature-before-all' belief system. It was their observations of distant Gothe, and what they discovered the Hadeans were doing with it, that soon had the Tekahydra Government, together with the entire population, up in arms!
Imagine that, one day, those Earthly purveyors of sugar, caffeine, caramel, phosphoric acid, coca leaf, cola nut extract, lime oil and flavoring which, they tell us, is a recipe for a wonderful life, decided to expand their advertising impact exponentially by using Earth's moon as a billboard. Setting aside such practical considerations as who would control the use of the moon's surface in this way, hopefully to the satisfaction of the many corporations and nations of the world, would lovers object as they sat, arm in arm, gazing up at it, only to see a laser projection extolling the virtues of some Cola or other on its surface? Would astronomers accept it as the price of progress and devise techniques to filter out the image? Would future astronauts spend many enjoyable hours attempting to follow the outlines of the laser projection in their multi-billion dollar golf carts? Would long dead Maya, Aztecs, Egyptians and British Druids rotate in their graves? I'm sure you have an opinion, or just don't give a shit! Whatever?
The Tekahydra are not an ambivalent people. For them, this action by the Victa Cola Corporation of Hadea was nothing short of an abomination! As an agrarian society, they had limited trade agreements with nearby worlds, and no vessels to carry their excess produce to them. But, they did have expertise in water and soil reclamation, as well as hydroponics, and these were in great demand from their more advanced neighbors who were now facing the same problems that the Tekahydra had been forced to confront, and which had eventually caused their change of direction. They spent a large percentage of their accumulated wealth to hire a construction company from another world, Jima, and commissioned them to build a large, concave mirror. They also rented a bulk freighter from yet another world, Kivu III, to transport it to the Hadea equivalent of the Earth-Moon Gravitational Transition Point. The mirror was placed at this precise point and, once its protective cover was removed, reflected the offending laser advertising back to its point of origin. Since the Victa Cola Corporation had employed the very latest sixty-megawatt, five hundred and thirty-two nano-meter green laser, an adaptation of the long range crowd control device manufactured for the Hadea Department of Civilian Safety by Harbinger Light Effects, not only was the laser itself destroyed, but Victa Cola's Corporate Headquarters also went up in smoke, along with two hundred city blocks - including the Hadea Department of Civilian Safety.
"This is war!" cried Lo Ghan, Hadea's First Minister.
The following day, the mirror was destroyed by three missiles. The Kivu freighter, still parked a short distance from it, was also destroyed.
The Hadea Department of Public Integrity - the equivalent of the CIA, MI6, Mossad, KGB, NKVD or any other three, four or six letter acronym you can think of - launched an inquiry into who might have perpetrated this atrocity. After an investigation lasting almost six months, the answer came in the form of a letter, which the Tekahydra had sent to the Hadean Government a day before the mirror was deployed stating their intention to destroy it; but which had, by mistake, been placed in an in tray for Interdepartmental Staff Assessments. The person who discovered it was awarded the Hadea Freedom Award, a promotion of three levels, and a substantial pay raise - presumably to keep his mouth shut.
The conflict began!
The Tekahydra blew the remainder of their savings on a mercenary fleet, provided by the ever accommodating 'Kivu'.
There are no longer any Hadean astronauts planning on 'running' the laser projection on Gothe in their expensive golf carts, and astronomers and lovers have a clear view of its surface, once more - albeit through an atmosphere laden with dust, blown skywards from the dozens of impact craters caused by missiles belonging to the newly formed Tekahydra-Kivu Alliance.
So much for being 'the recipe for a wonderful life'!
